Like sand through fingers, I feel it’s slipping away…

I love my wife dearly and there’s not really much more I can say about that. I’m ecstatic that she is now going to counseling and starting to deal with the issues of the past. Some where over the past month or so all affection from her seems to have vanished. This really hurts as one of my love languages are signs of affection. I have to touch and feel the person I love. This doesn’t have to mean pure sex, although it would be nice but just anything. My wifes been distant and there’s nothing I feel I can do to change that.

My wife made mention in one of the first sessions that if things didn’t change that she felt that our marriage was done in a year. It almost seems like she wants this to come true. I spoke to her tonight and told her I loved her and that I knew she didn’t feel the same. There was no response. At this point it just hurts. If this is going to end the just do it now. Don’t prolong what is in her heart. Just do it and save me the misery. Allow our sons 8 and 5 to hurt, get over it and move on.

I wanted something different for this life. I don’t think I’m going to end up where I wanted to. It’s hard to always be up. To not crumble under the weight. I’ve tried and now feel broken. Fuck, this sucks. Writing this through tear filled eyes wondering when she’ll tell me it’s over. You know, I sit hear shedding tears, yet I know she hasn’t shed one. She doesn’t speak of the loss or how it would hurt. I really don’t think it would bother her.


~ by Frustrated Hubby on November 29, 2013.

3 Responses to “Like sand through fingers, I feel it’s slipping away…”

  1. Hang in there Mate! (this could be me writing your post) I’m just a bit firther ahead in the same situation. Mine told me a couple of months back that as soon as the Dog’s died, (she’s old and very ill), and the mortgage is paid off, (12-18 months), that’s it and we’re finished. I went through exactly what you are that night. It gets easier, trust me. She’s fronting up to you, I reckon. Just keep telling her how much you love her. She could be hitting out at you because she needs to do it to vent her anger at her father and feels its safe to use you as a punchbag. After she may, (I hope), be true and you’ll find that’s what she was doing.
    Mine has setteled down a bit. Turns out that she’d lost some important stuff and started worrying it was a sign of dementia, (She’s has relations who’ve had this), and it all changed after she found the stuff 3 months on.. So it may not be exactly as you think. I nearly walked out a few weeks back because the abuse got so bad.
    It’s great your wife’s doing the counselling at last. She needs to be a bit more honest about her behaviour though, you’ve put up with a lot and still supported her all this time. She owes you a great deal. Takes a big man to gry too so no shame there, you’re still strong, this is just a bad time, it will get better.
    Know that those of us on here are her for you even if only through a screen.

  2. She wants you to be the bad guy. She doesnt have the strength to announce the obvious. The person who perceives the truth (its over) and communicates it to the other partner is not tne one who is responsible for the dissolution.

    On the otner hand, give the therapy a chance. Your wife is broken, and only she can fix herelf. You want to help her, but she hasn’t given you permission to.

    • Divorce is a big step. It is like an amputation to save your soul. But there is life and happiness on the other side. I know you know this but for others eho might read thistake care of the kids .you will always be their dad.

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