Away From Home…


As some of you know from a post a long time ago, I had taken a position in Miami and was traveling back and forth to see my family a trip of 3.5 hours and 250 miles..one way. I made roughly 52 trips like that before it was decided we would be a whole family again. The family moved to Miami with me and we have been that was for oh I dont know roughly 2-3 months or so. I found out two weeks ago that the company I moved my family down here for needed to reallocate resources. So, I was laid off once again. With my wife not working as I was doing well enough to take care of all of us. You start to think.Oh SHIT! Now what and uhhh, yeah we might be homeless.

I scrambled, called my mom and even asked if needed could we call pack up and go back there. This killed me as I dont like asking for help and beign a 39 year old man; taking the family to your mothers house isnt something anyone would want to do. I started networking my ass off on Linkedin; a recruiter calls me after someone from there told him about me. Fast forward to 3 days later and I have an open ended work order position with Amtrak in Washington DC for 3 years at more then 2.5 times what I was making before. My family will be more then taken care of; yet I have to be away from home again in order to do it.

It kills me to no end to leave my kids. My wife is an adult and I know in the back of my head she understands and can take care of herself. It’s my kids that I worry about. Everyone says, “oh, they’ll be ok.” and I’m sure they will; I wont. There is a part, a huge part of me that feels that by me leaving I’m damaging them in some way later on in life. I know, I know people in the military do it all the time. It still doesnt make it any easier.

I’ll be off to DC at roughly 3-4pm tomorrow and arrive sometime Sunday morning. Ugggh, I hate the thought of leaving, I really do….

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~ by Frustrated Hubby on February 27, 2010.

5 Responses to “Away From Home…”

  1. Thanks people. We do Skype nightly and my wife and I talk though out the day. I’ve noticed that my kids do take it better then I do.

    As far as disappointing in Miami. Sure it was my first thought..”OMG we’re going to be homeless.” and then what bills we had coming up.

    The worst part is it happened on the Thursday prior to Valentines Day. My wifes ex-employer filed a dispute over her unemployment and that was halted until it can get resolved. So, she calls me Thursday very upset and lets me know this; not a great time to tell her I had just lost my job at the end of the next week. So. I held it in, not saying on Friday to ruin the holiday weekend. Then on Monday, she calls me while I’m at the office for my last week she knows nothing about to let me know the kids have driven her bat shit crazy and she can’t wait for me to come home. GREAT..can’t drop the bomb tonight either. So, after dinner on Tue is when I told her and explained why I couldnt the previous days.

    People say God closes one door and opens another. I guess that miht be true as this new position is making 3 times more then before. Its the most I’ve ever made in my career. And after 15 years what I should be doing in my opinion. Yet, it has to hurt emotionally at least me.

    I wonder if there was a choice placed in front of me and if I made the right one.

  2. I think you have to feel out the situation with this new job and discuss the living arrangements with your spouse. If you really communicate your hopes and fears, then the answers should come in time.

    As for your kids, I can’t tell you that it will be easy. They are lucky to have a father who is attentive to their emotional needs and cares. My advice as a father with a busy job is to maximize whatever time you DO have with them. Plan it out. Have fun. Call them every day and talk to them. Let them do the talking. Most of all, if you do or say something that makes them laugh….do it again!

  3. Yes, it must have been so disappointing for you to have had your plans for your family’s future in Miami to be upended so soon. It sounds like you have talked things over with your wife and she would prefer not to move to DC ? It is hard with littlies, at least nowadays you can get a Skype connection or webcam or something – and make sure that your wife takes on extra paid help a few times a week e.g. to look after the kids while she gets dinner etc – with a higher salary that may be a possibility ? Under 5’s are a lot of work and she’ll need a physical and mental break now and then.

  4. I moved my family to Miami to once again be a family after not being with them for 6 months and only seeing them on weekends. Yet, when they got there 2 months go by and I then found myself unemployed again and having a heart attack at two parents being unemployed with two little ones at home.

    While I would love to have them with me; to be a family again and put even more in the bank by not having to pay two rents again. Yet, I feel that I would be gambling with them and they are not pieces that I can just shift at will. I also feel it would be selfish of me to bring them here, uproot them from the area that they have grown comfortable, just so I could come home to them daily.

    It’s hard but I look at it that people in the military do this all the time and at least from that standpoint I can understand what they go through when leaving and while gone.

    I’m not saying it wont happen. I’m saying that it todays economy that something could change at the drop of a hat that wait and see approach is to me at least the safer way to go.

  5. Hi, I wasn’t clear from your post as to why your family can’t come with you. They clearly won’t be staying in Miami alone, and have disconnected from where they used to live, so wouldn’t it make sense for them to move with you ? Living there for 3 years without your family is a long time, and then what happens.. Will you ever all be living in the same place ?

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