Joy & Pain

The family just left after coming down to Miami for a weekend visit and to look at apartments. There was the familiar, dont do this, leave your brother alone etc but it’s what I had grown accustomed to. The scattered toys, the crumbs from something eaten were all there. There wasn’t the go to the beach and hang out kind of weekend, I’m sorry that they didnt get to do that fun stuff. I had my family and loved it.

I just put them all in the car and sent them off on their way back home, me wanting to follow. I’m alone here in a strange land. Even though I do speak Spanish, I can’t stand everyone speaking it around me. I know my way around now by the major roads and thats fine with me. I dont plan on making this my long term home. This is a temporary stop in order to take care of my family by me having a full time position after 6 months on not having one.

I know only being 3.5 hours from them is no big deal to some. For me it is. For the past 11 years I haven’t been alone longer then a week. Then it was on business and I knew I would be going home. The 4 year old wanted to stay with me. That killed me. The pain is describable on how it feels when he says that knowing you cant. It’s a double edge sword. I’m here for my family but I can’t be with them.

I’m so ready to go home. I’ve been asking myself is the pain worth it? I’ve never felt this kind of pain before and dont want to ever again. I’ve already noticed a position back home and have already called the recruiter about it. I’ll continue to do so. I don’t care about breaking a lease and losing a security deposit, who cares if it would put me back home. I would be out of here.

So, it’s Sunday at 1:30pm and I need to find something to do. Sitting in a hotel room missing my family is only going to make it worse. The thing I look forward to now is going to the office in the am so time passes and next Friday when I get to go home, and go through this all over again.


~ by Frustrated Hubby on April 19, 2009.

One Response to “Joy & Pain”

  1. Hang in there, man. You’re doing the right thing. And don’t get distracted from what you know is the right path… (It’s too easy to get distracted.)

    I know that it’s easier to say than it is to do; but try to enjoy the good things that come your way and pray that you can endure the bad. I can’t validate the accuracy of this, but I recently read that the German wedding vow differs significantly from the typical American words “I Do.” Translated, they say “Ja, und Gott helf mir” which means “Yes, and God help me.”

    God help you, Tony.

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