Sex, Life and Living…Whats New

Yes, it’s been a very long time since my last posting. There are several reasons why. In my relationship with my wife I stopped being angry and fed up. I was beaten and just accepted that the way things were is the way they were going to be. You realize that when your beating your head up against a wall. It’s the wall that wins. So, what did I do you ask? Took a different approach.

The Approach
I openly even more so then I had before explained and expressed to my wife that she was destroying all the love I had for her. That making that final choice was becoming easier. That so many lives would be forever destroyed for that unwilling wall. She listened.

She Stops Being Angry
My wife could wake up on a daily basis and be pissed at the world. I couldnt and still cant comprehend how thats possible. You wake up from a dead sleep, sorry but being a bitch. My wife at that point in time wanted her father to pay for what he had done. For him to own up to it. I finally made a call to him. She knew I would but not when. I explained to him that she wanted a father back in her life. That the past could be left as the past and move on with the future. I left it with him making the next move to start a reconnection with him. He hasnt called and in some cases this is what made a change for her. She realized that he no longer felt he had a daughter, she could close the book on having a relationship with a biological father. She also realized that due to all of this that she was in a state of depression. I dont remember now if it was me, her or a friend that suggested she see about taking some meds. Well, she did and things changed over night, she stopped being angry at everything. It was kind of surreal as the little crap that I do didnt seem to piss her off at me. The relationship between her and my daughter changed over night; she’s the “cool mom” now.

Our Relationship
That changed as well with the introduction of the meds. Life was suddenly bearable and I could now see my other option slowly fading like a candle reach the end of the it’s wick. I was laid off in October of last year, I became daddy day care for our two sons. Thats a whole other post. This gave me time to bond with my youngest son who looks nothing like me; causing distance from me to him when he was first born. I would take care of the kids, look for a new job, launched a new side business, some what straighten up the house, do the dishes and have dinner either cooking or done when she got home at 5:30 or so. I made a good wife, lol. Even after all that she had not stepped up in the sex department until recently.

Doing What I have to Do
Fast forward to today. I’m sitting in Miami, FL in an Extended Stay “home” from my first day at a new job. I drove down last night after putting the little ones to bed. Thats the hardest drive I’ve every had to make. My 4 year old son is daddys boy and is always right there. It’s hard to be away from him, my youngest son at 10 months and my wife. I dont know how many times I’ve sat on the edge of the bed crying. I wanted to turn the car around and go home several times last night but knew for the betterment of my family I had to forge on. They rely on me for the majority of the income that comes into the house. Yes, due to the economy I have to be away from them. I’m looking for rental apartments in downtown Miami and near the beach, waiting for the next day to come so I dont have to think about missing them and hurting.

I’ll try to post more often in the future. It might not be about the same subject of my frustration as it doesnt exist anymore. I also wanted to thank those of you that have commented and followed the blog through the highs, lows, pain and frustration. Thank You, to all of you.


~ by Frustrated Hubby on April 14, 2009.

2 Responses to “Sex, Life and Living…Whats New”

  1. I can’t tell you how glad I was when I read this. Just your wife getting into a better place is such a huge step. It will take time for other parts of your life together to improve but clearly the meds were a huge step and you having a new job is great thing (although it sounds very hard). Progress, man!

    This is great news. One step at a time. Hang in there!

  2. Glad you’re ok and you are back posting. Good to hear that some things are better too – working away from home must be tough though. Hope things get better soon.

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