Losing Focus

I friend and I were talking today at the office. We both came to a same conclusion. The more you get in life doesnt seem to make us happy. Anyone really, think about it. In school we were told to go out there and achieve to X, to have the big house. To drive the nice car, to stand out from the rest of the crowd. For me it has always been that way. I grew up in Silicon Valley and well, we can see the wealth thats grown from there for those same reasons. Yet, if you ask those people if they were really, I mean really happy. I dont think many of them would agree.

Granted having a nice income makes life easier to live. Yet, your always worried of losing that very thing that gives you that life style. Look at Wall Street. There are guys that used to pull in $200MM as a bonus, private jets and thats all but gone now. It made life fun, but not happy.

We both figured out that we and our relationships were better, stronger and happyier in general when we had almost nothing. When my wife moved in with me into a small 1940’s home my grandmother owned in Daytona Beach. It was 2 bedrooms and 1 bath. It was small on a corner lot. Yet, we were happy. Life centered on us.

I think a lot of people have lost that. The “us”. The reason you went down the path you went with someone you loved. Some where in there, things, a house, nice cars etc all got in the way of focusing on “US” It’s kind of sad really. Your told that this is the way things should be. You reach for them and it was all smoke in the end.

Being in a small 2 bedroom, 1 bath house is where we should all be. Focusing on us..So, how many of you if you really think about it were happier, not easier but happier when in your relationship had basicly nothing?

If you stop and think about it. I suspect most of you were happier back then..

How do you fix it? Lose everything. Think LOST..and envy them. All they have to do is focus on themselves and being. People in flood zones, in the mid-west and tornados. Those, not all but most of those relationships have to be strong. When all is lost, all thats left is that, US.


~ by Frustrated Hubby on September 23, 2008.

4 Responses to “Losing Focus”

  1. Luckily for me, I was never told in school that we should aim for wealth, car, house etc. That was simply taken for granted, I suppose – certainly never mentioned. In discussions with my mother, she said more than once, it’s more important what you put into life than what you get out of it. She really lived this, so did my father. Though I have to say that eventually their marriage became unhappy, but not because of any material considerations, even though my father’s fixed pension made him become gradually poorer as the value of money declined. He never really knew how to communicate with my mother, or perhaps never really had the inclination. It seems that you at least make the effort to communicate, even though the result is unsatisfactory, to say the least. If you get this job in California, you may meet another woman more suited to you, which would give you a fresh and more exciting set of problems

  2. This is so true. I remember when we lived in a studio apartment when our first child was born(and before), one raggedy car, one computer to share and seemed so happy. The big house, the luxury cars mean nothing if you’re not happy :(

  3. Sometimes? lol

  4. Deep, sweetheart, deep. In all seriousness, though, great post and so true. My relationship with my hubby is pretty loving and strong right now and we are in a deep financial mess. We share one car and moved into a 2BR, 2BA apartment when we lost our house and car. It’s stressful, but we seem to pull together as a team more. You know… sometimes you’re pretty brilliant! Who knew? :)

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