I’ve been busy at trying to give my wife the things she is lookin for. Picking up after myself better, doing the dishes more timely etc. She has noticed and made mention as to her noticing my efforts. She has tried to give it up a little more. Yet, she has not gone out of her way really. I love stockings, LOVE’EM. Yet, none have been put on in years. I guess she is trying as she tells me so, but I really dont see it as any different then before when we made love. Am I being to critical? Am I asking for to much?


~ by Frustrated Hubby on September 15, 2008.

9 Responses to “Trying..”

  1. Bev,

    Thank you for the feedback. When I am with my wife, her needs come first. I love doing things to her that pleases her. I love the reaction I get. Making her cum multiple times when allowed is great fun. So, my needs due come second.

  2. Sorry Frustrated Hubby, I can’t enlighten you. I can only share some of the things I’ve learned – about myself – from “the other side”. What I know is that “seducing” and fantasy are important to women. A man that becomes needy or too interested in his own sex-drive or hard-on (with a concurrent discourse of being concerned about his wife’s physical or psychological needs) is in danger of being just plain boring. Unless, that is, his needs are all part of a negotiated fantasy. Women are more complex that men, that’s for sure!

  3. Interesting. So open up. Self righteous? Seeing as it seems you have a great insight of me. Please enlighten me.

    Standing by your wife, working with her through tough times etc. While frustrating is what I thought you were supposed to do. Did I miss something?

    So, please fill me in on your observations over the past year of both her and me. I would really like to know.

  4. Don’t worry .. I’ve been reading the blog for at least a year. I sympathise with a sexually frustrated husband (and have had splendid sex with many of them) and I identify with other (invisible) voices in the story. In BDSM I’m a submissive which has given me great insights into honesty, apparent honesty, and may other interesting human dynamics.

    I think you wife will be fine, sexually, without you. You are too patient, too nice – and too self-righteous. Just get on and live a little – and leave your wife out of the excuses.

  5. Ahhhh, I can see another uninformed person into my blog. While I thank you for the comment it’s way off base.

    Take the time to read some of my previous posts, then think before you decide to scribe such a witty response.

    So, Bev. Try what I suggest. Until then, hold the comments and the obvious great intellectual power that they bring.

    If you can’t do that. Please, Please lets go back and forth about it.

  6. ermmm… she puts on stockings in return for you doing the dishes … ermmm … …maybe your wife doesn’t want sex with you because you’re … ermmm … boring … and … ermmm … self-righteous and a martyr? There’s nothing, and I mean nothing, less of a turn-on than that.

  7. Dont do that. Setting yourself up for never getting married isnt the greatest idea. Sure there are things I wish my wife would do. I wish she didn’t get touched by people that said they loved her as a father. My situation is unique to me; but not others. My wife was shaped to the person I deal with daily. I’ve seen this other person within her; that’s the person I think can come out some day. I now know I can’t make that happen.

    If I could go back and change things would I? No, I might not have had kids, if a divorce was to ever happen it would be hard on them and everyone else. Yet, if I would lose them and still remember. Then I couldnt bear that either.

    Sometimes I think I stay in it for the kids only. She has told me that she, in some cases feels the same way. That if it was just us we might not have made it this far.

    What does the future hold? I dont know. I have stopped with expectations a long time ago and just deal with what I get. I have dreams, wants and desires; personally and for what I want in a marriage. Will I get them? I dont know that either.

  8. I watched my mother, and fathers’ relationship, and looked at my own sex drive, and decided never to get married. So with the total lack of sexual satisfaction in your life, do you feel it is worth it? I know thats a tough, and awfully personal question, so I wouldn’t be offended if you ignored it. I’m just a young man who feels like the American marriage is dead, and I am always looking for fresh perspective.

    You can visit my blog if you wish. Its slightly different subject matter, and I need some regular viewers!

  9. I think you’re asking for too much. Hear me out… you weren’t getting any nor was she talking much about why. Now, she’s talking to you about her feelings and appreciation of you, plus you’re getting some! Be happy, my man, and let this go for a bit before asking for the stockings. :-)

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