Life at 80mph..An Adult with ADD


Allow me to explain this as best as possible. As a kid I didn’t do well in school. I was bored, none I mean none of the content being taught to me was engaging enough to keep my interest and it wasn’t feed to me fast enough. As a teenager it was the same thing. I also like to drive fast. My driving record is fairly clean now but was horrid when younger.

Not to long ago I started to hear about Adult ADD and said to myself “yeah right, hogwash.” I then started to hear some of the signs, “WOW! I have that, wait and that, and that, and that…Holy Crap!” Things started to make sense. I then heard of a clinical trial that was taking place. I tried out for it and was diagnosed with Adult ADD. This confirms what I had heard and felt.

Allow me to explain what it’s like. For one thing, it’s VERY frustrating. I can walk in, put my car keys down and not remember where I had put them 5 minutes later. My wife gets upset, as she just told me something important and I have forgotten within minutes of her telling me. Leading her to believe that I wasn’t paying attention to her or what she had to say wasn’t worth listening to. That’s farthest from the case. Thoughts come into my head and are random. Sometimes it’s very difficult to piece them together a they are arriving.

Picture this…
Go into a dark room. Take a flash camera with you. Now the room has all kinds of things on the walls, on shelves, trinkets etc. Now imagine someone turns the lights off. Stand one direction and make the flash go off. That area and maybe one object was lit up for a split second and then it fades. Now, still in pitch black darkness, turn. Set the flash off again. Look at the new object just for a second. Now do that over and over again. Now, try and remember what the first object was. That’s how life is for me. Thoughts are there but new ones seem to push the old ones out. If it’s an interesting subject or something my brain deems should stick then it does. Why, I have no idea.

Tell me story, I want to know the start, middle and end. I can fill in the rest if I want to. The fluff isn’t important to my brain. My brain craves new data. It’s always looking for new information. There is no reason or order to what the information is. It just looks for it.

Ask yourself this. Can you start a conversation about one thing, jump to another and another and then back to the first thing again as if you never stopped talking about it? Can you follow a conversation in just the same way? When driving do you feel more comfortable when your driving faster, more at ease? If traffic is going the speed limit. Do you want to just peel out of your skin, as it drives your crazy?

What I think and this is by no means scientific. My mind is moving at 80mph constantly. The rest of the world is moving what seems to me to slow. When I drive my comfort level is around 80 on the highways. If I take a back-road and do say, cough 130mph I get more relaxed, excited and even breath slower. I know this is dumb to do so please don’t hammer me about that. Putting 2 and 2 together, life started to make sense. Why in school I was bored out of my mind, why I like to drive fast. Why I seem to forget the little things and remember the big things, even when they aren’t important. Why I love the internet and how fast it can feed my brain what it wants to know.

This got me to thinking about my kids. I started to feel bad, to see how things are sometimes difficult for me now and they were very difficult as a kid. Is this something my kids will end up dealing with?

I also started to think that medicating kids or adults wont work. In school kids like this have to be taught differently overall. Subject need to be smaller, scattered. You can’t teach a kid or an adult with ADD one subject for more then 20 minutes. We get lost and our minds wonder. It looks for that new bit of data. When it doesn’t get it, it creates it. I used to get called a dreamer all the time. I now know why. When I was doing freelance at home. I would work with the TV on. my brain needed the background noise. Are some of you that way? Or, can you work in perfect silence?

So, that’s what life is like for me with Adult ADD, life at 80mph.

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~ by Frustrated Hubby on October 10, 2007.

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