A Father, Something Wicked This Way Comes.

I wanted to give those of you that do read this blog into some insight. My wife had been molested by her father from the age of 14 – 17, as far as she can remember. In the past she also had boyfriends that took advantage of her and basically forced her to do what they wanted. This has caused her to be the person she is now. I can see now that she had her sexuality stripped from her. Also, having a baby 2 years ago and also getting older, 33. She has a bad self image. Something that all the priase in the world isn’t going to solve.

In dealing with her sexually is very difficult at times as I don’t know what is or isn’t a trigger for a memory or feeling. Its like throwing darts in a dark room and the board is always moving. What worked one time may or may not work another.

Guys, if your wife is not as warm sexually as you would like her to be. Ask her to first be honest. Then ask her about her sexually past. You want to know so that you can better try and understand where she is coming from. Sit there and listen when she tells you about the ex-boyfriend with the big pecker. (yes, you will want to know if bigger then you. Yes, she will want to lie and say your the biggest. but, thats not being honest and if it is…pat yourself on the back STUD.) Don’t form an opinion listen to what she has to say. If something is difficult such as being molested by a family member or friend, it might give you some insight and allow the both of you to start some dialog together.

I by no means am perfect and there are a number of issues on my end as well, procrastination, some laziness, always looking for that pot at the end of the rainbow etc. But, start talking and maybe it will get you both somewhere.

Good Luck,

PS: Here is a link to Rainn. org A location that might help her with some issues if she has some.


~ by Frustrated Hubby on May 14, 2007.

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