Lack Luster Weekend

Well, this past weekend sucked! For some reason we just weren’t messing well at all. Although it didnt start out that way. Sat morning started well. We went out with the family, spent time at the park. It was getting back in the car and leaving that things took a turn.

Have Faith
Our 2 year old son was being buckled in by his 10 year old big sister. I put the car in drive and proceeded to back up about a foot, slow down, stopped and was waiting for my daughter to finish up. My wife belted out “AREN’T YOU GOING TO WAIT!” This instantly pissed me off! I guess it was for the reason that I felt she didn’t have faith in me and my judgment. like I was going to drive down the street. I was more upset at not the message but the tone in which it was said.

I was ticked off for a good bit, driving quietly to Home Depot. We pull in, I’ve let it go and ready to move on with the day. Now, mind you I know that if i don’t wise up any chances of getting some later that evening will be lost.

Going Shopping
So, we’re walking around the store. My 2 year old son gets out of hand. I pop him on the butt, not very hard but enough to get his attention that “We want you to stop what your doing.” Mind you this is through his 1 inch thick diaper as well. This  woman turns down the isle. She’s staring down the isle as if she’s looking for something, yet looking right at us. I ignore her. My wife on the other hand is staring back at her, she is liable to say something. I say to my wife “just forget her, no biggy” She keeps staring. The woman walks down the isle and to the end. Again I say “don’t worry about her, lets look at faucets.” Well, the response I get was VERY unexpected, I get a blow up. “I’M NOT WORRIED ABOUT HER!!” This is in front of the kids as well. Now, I’m a good natured guy but at that point from the blow up an hour or so earlier I had had it. I told her to just look at faucets and lets move on. She came back at me with a very pissed off tone again. I said a few things to her in front of the kids that wasn’t cool at all and am sad to say I did. We turn the isle corner and I’m so pissed that I want to go now. I walk out with our son to the car and wait. Saturday sucked as much as it could have.

You Sank My Battle Ship!
Well, there went any chance of making love to my wife. B7! Boom “Direct Hit!” and that was all that happened on Sat. Things calmed down but we kept our distance between each other the rest of the evening.

Things faired better on Sunday but you could still feel some of the lingering tension in the air from Saturday. We got ready and went back to Home Depot. By the end of Sunday, things were well. Not perfect but 1000% better then Sat on both of our parts. We both had a hand in the events that took place on Saturday, neither one of us is innocent.

My wife gets ready to take a shower, I of course glance at her naked. I make a joke that she needs to come to bed like that as I have plans for her later. To my surprise she does. Now, I have been down this road before. This is either an indicator that she knows I would like to make love and she is giving me a sign that she’s accepting, (sounds like something your would see in Discovery) or this will be a show with a let down.

Needless to say my joke, announcement / request was fulfilled. Although, the quality wasn’t there. She was doing it for me. I pleased her first, then myself with her. I know that sounds bad. But, I could tell that she wasn’t 100% into it. For most guys I guess that would be ok, but for me it hurts. I would LOVE for her to enjoy making love to her husband and not see it as a chore as I’ve been told before. I’ve also heard this from other women as well. Trust me, if you tell us what you want and it’s sexual us guys are probably more then willing to give it a go as long as we can play too.

So, this weekend wasn’t the greatest and we both made mistakes. There was some growth a little. We didn’t take it out on the kids and thats a good thing.


~ by Frustrated Hubby on April 2, 2007.

5 Responses to “Lack Luster Weekend”

  1. I feel for you and your wife… I hope she is able to eventually deal with whatever it is that has her so inhibited.

  2. First off thank you for becoming a new subscriber. I understand that my wife has had a very troubled past when it comes to sex. That I get. It’s her not really wanting to deal with the underlying issues of how that situation makes her feel about herself on a daily basis now.

    I’ve been with women in the past that wanted nothing but; and have been the other side. I just want somewhere in the middle.

    I’m glad that you and your husband can meet in the middle and it’s wonderful for the both of you.

    If he’s ever in a mood, tell him to read my blog and to count his lucky stars.

  3. Just reading some of your archived blogs… really enjoying them. I wanted to say something about the comment from SurrogateWife… I don’t appreciate the “We rarely want it” statement… that isn’t true.. and I don’t want to be put in that “we” category. Speaking for myself.. I love sex and fantasies.. but, I haven’t always felt free to express myself without fear of “what would he think if he knew that I want this?”
    I think that society has created the image that woman have fallen victim to… which is that only whores and sluts do and think naughty things… nice girls, the ones that men want to marry, don’t. So, as women I think we have been “trained” to supress it.
    And I agree with you… communication is the key.. as well as patience, understanding and acceptance. I feel much more free with my husband now…and we are both benefiting.

  4. If the post came off as sounding, that I was trying to place guilt or make my wife or those that have been abused guilty that was by far not my intent.

    I understand where she has been but only to an extent. I also understand that these abuse situations are difficult to talk about. At the same time you want us to understand but at least with my wife, informative information is lacking.

    As husbands, boyfriends, lovers whatever. We want to be there to help you. I don’t mean help you is a means to help us get more sex. As those people in your life we look at ourselves as the ones to make things better. We don’t want the ones we love to hurt and we will do anything to take that away. In doing this we by accident cause more hurt.

    In my wifes family they didn’t show love. They didn’t hug, cuddle and just in general show the other person that they cared. I, as a guy will admit that at least for myself I need to “know” that I’m loved. Not just from sex but from just everyday touch. This leads me to think about making a post about this topic.

  5. Ok. Let me break it down for you. We rarely want it. I’d say that I actually want it and approach my husband for it 2 times per year.
    I do have a background of sexual abuse by my father, as does your wife, so maybe that has something to do with it.
    A co-worker of mine (interestingly who also has a background of sexual assault) was recently talking about how she makes her period s..t..r..e..t..c..h.. as long as possible because that is her “break” from being bombarded for sex! She will actually wear a pad towards the end even if it’s ended so that he won’t bug her! It got me thinking. If 1 in 3 women is sexually assaulted in her life, there are a lot of us out there who avoid sex at all costs.
    As much as I want my husband to be happy sexually, we will never agree on how much is enough. What I will do, though, is try to make sure that if he’s suffering I give it to him with some enthusiasm, even if it’s a farce. He deserves that much.
    You have to look at every sexual act with your wife as a gift. Even if she’s not into it, she loves you enough to do it for you. As abuse survivors, I truly believe that we could go the rest of our lives without sex and be perfectly satisfied (with a small toy). When we make love to you, it is because we love you even if it is hard to pretend we are enjoying it.
    Don’t get me wrong; it is enjoyable sometimes. Most times, however, it isn’t. That’s just life and there is nothing we can do to change it. Don’t make us feel guilty for the lack of consistent relations or enthusiasm, though, because believe it or not, we already do.

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