The Diary of a Sexually Frustrated Husband

It’s been a long time…

Frustrated Hubby — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 01:18:32 +0000

I has been a very long time since I posted here. The real reason is that I no longer feel the need to vent. For some of you guys that are going through the same things, yes it’s very frustrating. I cant tell you what to do. I can tell you that in most cases as in mine the issue really isnt with me. I had to learn to stop beating myself up, for feeling like I was a horrible lover for not being able to turn my wife on. What I’ve noticed over the years is that the issues with our partners are deep rooted from the past. We love them so we want to try and fix the issue, take the pain away. At the same time there are needs that we have and get frustrated when that hunger isnt being met. i’ve come to the resolve that no matter how much I talk to my wife about what I want. Things wont change. Do I wish that my wife acted liked a girlfriend in the past where I knew exactly what it would take to turn her on and when I did she was ready to go. Sure, I’m I going to get it? No, and I’ve decided to live with that. It’s so easy for people to get rid of the other partner that isnt doing what they would like or want. I made a choice when I said those words that no matter how hard things got I would still stick it out. Honestly I think most guys would do the same.

Is it nice when someone else flirts with you? Sure it is. It makes you realize that it isn’t you that is the problem. It boosts your ego. At the same time you realize that in the long run you would just be trading one womans issues for another. You wouldn’t be gaining that sex vixen you so longed within your lover. If you do find her, then you may want to look behind her and everything else she is bringing along.

I’m glad that after so long this blog still gives some solace to men knowing that they aren’t alone. That you have a voice and how I deal with the situation. So, keep the comments coming, there is someone out there to read them and for you to understand your not alone.

Update

Frustrated Hubby — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 05:12:38 +0000

I know it’s been some time since my last update and the reason for that is, not that much has changed I’ve just gotten over being upset. As someone just commented on another post of mine. After so much time goes by you just kinda give up. You want things to be different but have come to the resolve that no matter how hard you try and make things different this is how they are going to be. Some would get a divorce, others cheat to find what they need. Then there are those of us that just hang out. I guess you could say we really love the women in our lives despite not getting what we want from them. Is this settling? I don’t know. I can think of girl friends past and wish my wife would be more like them sexually. I got damaged goods and while that isnt her fault it’s the choice I’ve made to stick with her good or bad. So, here I am and here I’ll be. Either until she changes or the sexual hunger that I have finally goes away.

Rubbing One Out and Being Bored

Frustrated Hubby — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 16:46:19 +0000

Have you ever gotten tired of playing with yourself? You just get to a point where you’ve done it so much that your bored of yourself, LOL. Following up on my last post it seems if if my wife is in the “I’m not in the mood phase”.

Insanity – Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

So, what do you do? Change hands? Look at something different?

It Begins Again…

Frustrated Hubby — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 04:16:13 +0000

It seems that the “not wanting to have sex” is a type of cycle. After the kids go to bed, lights are off and we are in the room I’m looking to make love to my wife. Now, after this long she knows this. She knows I look forward to it on the weekends. So, she waits “doesnt think about it” until right before I’m ready to start my approach. Shot down again. I told her when I was working away from home and only there on the weekends things were great. I also mentioned that when we did make love more often that we fought less and if we did it was very minor and over in a few minutes. So, what that tell us kids? Get laid more and your happier!

We All Have a Trigger..Right?

Frustrated Hubby — Sun, 09 May 2010 19:53:58 +0000

There is something inherit to all of us. A trigger that will get you all hot and bothered, horny, ready to bump uglies what ever you might call it. Mine is when I get kissed, slightly bit on the neck and ears, my other spot is I like for my nips to be licked and sucked. I used to take pride, it was even a game to me to try and find out what it was with the girl I was with at the time. Once I knew what it was I could easily use it to get this other person horny at will. I used to love to get someone horny in a place where they wouldnt expect it, say walking through the mall (if it was a kiss or slight nibble of the neck). This would get them horny but they were constrained by society and moral laws. My wife, even after 12 years is still a mystery to me. One thing will work once or twice but not every time. I ask her and she tells me do this….I do that and get a good reaction then. I do the same thing next time and nothing, or even a push away. Why does that happen?

I would love to know what some of your triggers or that one button is?

30 Days of Sex

Frustrated Hubby — Wed, 05 May 2010 14:40:44 +0000

I happen to read that a wife in the UK suggested to her husband that they have sex daily for 30 days. Yes, a wife made the suggestion. I must preclude and also say that they dont have any kids to interfere with their escapades either. They start off well towards the middle there were a few hiccups but overall out of 30 days they made love for 25 of them. I made this suggestion to my wife as a joke and I got back “Ok, lets give it a shot..” This cracks me up, my wife has a tendency to not feel well on a regular basis, lets see how this goes when she doesnt feel like giving up the booty but has agreed to do the deed, and not just lay there either. We, havent started yet as Aunt flow is about to rear her ugly head next week, we’ll start after that and see what happens.

I still havent gotten the stockings yet and I really dont know why. I think she just flat our refuses now..anyways.

Let the TENSION begin

Frustrated Hubby — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 15:22:35 +0000

My wife and kids are on their way up to be with me in Washington DC this week. I’m excited and do miss them constantly. But, in all do honestly I had the best of both worlds. I would go home, be daddy, husband and get some great lovin (I had been away for a bit) then leave. I didnt have the daily stress that comes along with having a family. I know, sounds horrible. For the past few days I’ve been tension/stress headaches because I know they will be here soon. The headaches will go away after getting back into the swing of being a full-time daddy and husband again. My wife says she knows she has to step it up in the showing love department just not sexually but in other subtle ways as well. We’ll see if it happens. Based on the past it will be great for a bit and then ware off. If something to the contrary happens then great, but I’m not going to expect it, this way if it doesnt happen I wont have let myself down.

You Might Think..

Frustrated Hubby — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 21:06:12 +0000

I know this is going to come off sounding bad no matter how I put it, so here it goes. I was talking with a fellow team member on the new project I’m on. He was saying that he will get his brains fucked out when he gets his first check; he’s making more then he has before just as I am. He said the same will happen to you. I chuckled; he doesnt understand the past and my wife. He said his wife would be so grateful that she would “hook him up” in a very good way. You know, that makes me jealous of him and what he has. I cant help it.

My wife was with me when I was a waiter and had nothing. We have both struggled together over the years and I have given her everything she has wanted, stood by her when she needed me and am still here when she tried to push me away. If you havent followed my blog; I’m a very sexual guy and stockings are my thing. They drive me crazy and it was the way I was hardwired. I’m now making upwards of $300k a year, about to put her in another penthouse apartment and still save something to go in the bank.

Would it be to much to ask that my wife do something for me back? Does that sound like I’m owed something for giving her this lifestyle? Like I stated, it wouldnt sound right no matter how it was said. But, just as the saying goes. “When momma aint happy no ones happy.” Well, the same thing goes for daddy. She has one type of stress but I have another of taking care of everyone. To make sure I dont get sick, to make sure that I put in the time. Would it be to much to ask for her to give me a little something to make me happy? To be honest, a great blow job and sex while wearing stockings would be fantastic. And I dont mean the every few years kinda thing. She hasn’t worn stockings in I dont know how long. Blow jobs are well, very in frequent as well. I dont know what it will take for her to freely and want to do the things to me that she knows I would love.

It’s not an anger issue its a “why not me” issue. I’ve sacrificed for so long and will continue to do so. She says she knows she has to step up to the plate. Yet, it never happens. When she does its for a short period of time and then wears off. The bigger issue is that I know she’s faking it. I want her to “want” to do these things I ask. To want to and enjoy pleasing her husband. When I ask her not to be fake, the way she is acting disappears. She had to act with men in her past; she felt she had to in order to gain some type of love from them. So, by her acting with me just to give me what I want. Puts me in the same category as them and no better. So, asking her to be real. Causes me to not get what I want from her. Yet, she wont step up herself.

Frustrating….i.e. the title of my blog says it all.

Home is Where You Make It.

Frustrated Hubby — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 17:27:43 +0000

As some of you might know I’ve been in Washington DC on a multi-year contract. By the time I got to go home it was towards the end of last month. I got off the plane, was in the car for 30 minutes and my wife looks at me. “I’ve got good news; I’m not pregnant and, I spoke to my girl friend who has moved around with her husband, and I think we should all be together. I want to move.”

Ok, cool. So, we are in the process of looking for a mover and I have already spoken to the building management about upgrading my apartment. It’s scary, really scary. I moved them from Orlando to Miami in the hopes that it would be long term. Yet, what I’ve learned is that anything van happen. Here, there anywhere. So, we’ll just have to make the best of it for however long it might be.

“God Closes One Door and Opens Another?”

Frustrated Hubby — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 15:27:41 +0000

I have never been a religious man as I didn’t grow up going to church. I do believe in a higher being, and he is called by different names, looks different etc. So that a group of people can easier identify with him. Make sense? As some of you have read I got a new position more then 800 miles from home due to getting laid off.

“God Closes One Door and Opens Another”
Yes, but he doesnt tell you which one to go through. This is my take on “God” he presents choices and allows you to have free will. There are good and/or bad with each choice thats made. Some of course are better then others. I think that “God” knows which one you should take, he knows which one you will take. But, sits back and see what choices YOU make.

I was laid off and started networking like crazy online. I was getting interviews within Miami yet the positions were in most cases $30,000 less then what I was making before. Now I dont want you to think that we should have reduced or drastically changed our lifestyle, moved etc. As we really didnt have much to start with when we moved down there. Plus a reduction in salary that much would have caused us to move in a very not so hot part of town. Somewhere I didnt want my family to be.

I think I’m going to have to take a position there at a severe loss in salary and I get a call. My assistant found your profile on Linkedin, directed you to me….. two phone interviews and 3 days later and I’m going to Washington DC making 3 times more then what I was.

Now, this new salary will allow my family from a financial standpoint to really get ahead. Something we have not been able to do in sometime. We have no retirement for us, nothing for a rainy day or a lay off etc. The idea is to quickly pay off cars and a few other debts but the cars are the biggest and put the rest away.

“The Doors”
Door One – Stay in Miami with my family, make $30K less and struggle and the wife goes back to work, basicly paying just for the kids to be in day care (its $26K/yr. for two kids in Miami).
Door Two – Go to DC, be away from the family, go home every two weeks, get us out of financial turmoil and get ahead.

So, you know what I took but emotionally the choice hurts me terribly but it’s something I feel that has to be done. I guess “God” wants me to learn something from the choice. To be closer to family, to cherish the time and interaction I do have with them? I dont know. I guess time will tell and if I can see what I am supposed to learn.